four (and a half) acceptable reasons to call me "dear"

must be this old to
acceptably call me "dear"

1) i have reached or exceeded the age of seventy.

2) you have reached or exceeded the age of seventy.

3) you're in a service industry, have a personality, and try to build rapport with your clients. (this is a good thing.)

4) you are using it ironically to subtly hint to me that i've just been acting like a naggy housewife.

okay, but he's freakin
adorable and i love his
 shirt. i'll allow it.

4.5) you are terrible with homophones and are actually calling me a member of the cervidae family. (confusing "dear" and "deer" isn't actually acceptable in my pedantic grammar book and raises more issues than it solves, so this only gets a half point.)

can't part with "dear?" try "darling" as a substitute. bonus points if you say it in an english accent.

i write this because i've noticed a trend among my gentleman friends lately, all within my age range, who like to call me dear.

i use and respond to many monikers both adulatory and opprobrious with my friends (from foxy, babe, and honey to "hey you," bitch, and dumbass), but something about "dear" just strikes me as, i don't know, hilariously antediluvian.

ps - if you like the picture (the shirt, not the dude) -- the organization selling those shirts is actually awesome and you should totally buy one (the shirt, not the dude). but if anyone finds out where i can buy the other thing (the dude, not the shirt), shoot me an email...